


gazing up at the stars hurts more than it probably should

by dirtypool



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: 707's real name spoilers, Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, No Beta, also the fic is formatted as if it were emails, and he has absolutely no idea how to cope, but mostly - Freeform, i think, ill add tags as i go, seven is missing, the whole fic is basically yoosung having complicated feelings for seven that will never be requited, yoosung is grieving and turns to zen for help
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29247606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtypool/pseuds/dirtypool
Summary: Saeyoung suddenly goes missing without saying goodbye. Some time passes and he is believed to be dead, but Yoosung refuses to let go. He resorts to the only thing he can think of: sending his presumably dead boyfriend emails that will never be opened.
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel/Kim Yoosung, Kang Jaehee/Main Character (Mystic Messenger), Kim Yoosung & Zen | Ryu Hyun
Kudos: 9





	gazing up at the stars hurts more than it probably should

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not quite sure where I'm taking this fic just yet, so we'll see what happens!
> 
> Enjoy, and as always; comments, kudos, and constructive criticism are always appreciated!

From: Yoosung Kim  
To: Luciel Choi  
Date: 05/02/15  
Subject: i miss you 

Saeyoung;

Today I woke up alone. 

Your side of the bed was empty, just as it has been for the past two months. It hurts, you know, to wake up to a cold mattress that once was warm. 

I started college again today. I’m doing it for you; I know you always wanted to see me graduate. So I’m going to try my hardest, for you. 

I wonder where you are right now. Are you even still alive? I hope you are. I know you are, you have to be. You always joked that ‘the great Seven-Oh-Seven never dies!’ And I believe you. Maybe you were just kidding, but maybe it stuck with me, and maybe I’m the last person who still thinks you’re out there somewhere. 

MC and Jaehee are opening their own coffee shop. They’re asking me to work there once they open so I can have some sort of reliable income to help with my school fees. I don’t want to spend the money you left with me. It reminds me too much of what I’ve lost. 

I made your favorite cookies today. You know, the cat-shaped sugar ones with red frosting? I took them to the grave that was made for you, so I hope you enjoy them. If you’re dead, I guess, but you’re not. 

I miss you Saeyoung, please come home. I feel like that’s all I can ask of you anymore. 

-Yoosung

—  
—

From: Yoosung Kim  
To: Luciel Choi  
Date: 05/04/15  
Subject: come home 

Saeyoung;

Hi. 

The cookies I made for you the other day were gone when I visited today, so either you ate them or someone else took them. I’m going to aim for the former. 

I had my first test today, and I think I aced it. I studied really hard! I even asked Zen to help me study, and it took me back to last year, before you had disappeared, and before I had dropped out. It was fun, we had a few beers together and stayed up watching a movie after we had finished. 

It was weird not having you there with me, you know. The last time I went over to Zen’s place was with you, when we went to play video games with him? Do you remember that? He lost so fast during the racing game, it was so funny to see him pissed off. You laughed so hard that your glasses fell off and I almost broke them when I was going to stand up, do you remember that? And you grabbed my ankle and yanked me into your lap to save your precious glasses, and bruised my leg in the process. Idiot. We laughed for a good five minutes after that, though. 

You left your favorite pair of glasses here. I wonder if you did that on purpose, knowing I’d want to hold onto anything you once held dear. I wonder if you knew that you weren’t going to come home when you walked out of the door for the last time.

Ah, it’s getting kind of late. I should probably head to bed soon, I’ve got classes at 8am tomorrow. 

I miss you, Sae, come home. 

-Yoosung

—  
—

From: Hyun Ryu  
To: Yoosung Kim  
Date: 05/08/15  
Subject: hello???????

Yoosung!

We still on for tonight? Answer your phone!!

  
On 05/08/15, <starsung@msyme.com> wrote:

Zen!!! Sorry!!! Yeah, I’ll be over at 8!

See you!!

  
On 05/08/15, <hyunryu@mysme.com> wrote:

Okay! Just text me next time, idiot, it’s faster. I’ve got the beers and food. Just bring yourself^^

  
On 05/08/15, <starsung@mysme.com> wrote:

Hehe, ok, on the way!

—  
—

From: Yoosung Kim  
To: Luciel Choi  
Date: 05/10/15  
Subject: (none)

Saeyoung;

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. 

Come home. Please. I miss you. 

—  
—

From: Yoosung Kim  
To: Luciel Choi   
Date: 05/11/15  
Subject: (none)

Saeyoung-

Maybe, maybe, maybe. 

That’s what I’ve been telling myself for the past three months. Maybe you’ll come back, maybe you’ll fall back into my arms, maybe you’ll let me kiss you again. 

Maybe, maybe, maybe. 

It’s a stupid wish, honestly. I miss you, but maybe you aren’t coming home. 

Your scent is starting to fade from your pillowcase. What will I do when the smell of you has faded from the things you left behind?

Yoosung

—  
—

From: Yoosung Kim  
To: Luciel Choi  
Date: 05/20/15  
Subject: hello

Sae;

School’s been going alright. I’ve been keeping in line with my studies and going to bed at a somewhat reasonable time (if 1am is considered reasonable), and I’ve been hanging out with Zen more. He’s easy to talk to, so I think that’s why I’m drawn to him. 

He lets me talk to him about you. He doesn’t have that sickening look of sympathy in his eyes when I tell him about how much I miss you. He doesn’t try to tell me that you’re dead, but he doesn’t talk about you coming back, either. He just listens, and that’s what I need the most right now. 

You were a really good listener, Sae. I remember when you’d let me lay on your lap and talk about anything and everything, and you wouldn’t say too little or too much. You were really good at understanding me and what I wanted. I am so thankful for that.

If you’re still alive somehow, and you’re reading these emails; please come home. I know that’s a lot to ask, but please. You’re the only person who saw me as a person, and not someone who needs to be scolded or sympathized with. Zen is alright at that, but you’re the only one who I wanted to understand me. 

I knew you, Saeyoung. And I will never forget you. 

Yoosung

—  
—

From: Yoosung Kim  
To: Jaehee Kang  
Date: 05/27/15  
Subject: sry lol

Jaehee, it’s Yoosung. 

I lost my phone and I’m sending you this from my laptop, but I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be over at the shop by 3

See you!!

Yoosung

On 05/27/15, <jaeheekang@mysme.com> wrote:

Yoosung;

I hope you find your phone! 

We just got the aprons in today, so bring some stuff to decorate yours with^^

See you soon,

Jaehee

—

From: Yoosung Kim  
To: Luciel Choi  
Date: 05/28/15  
Subject: are you looking at the stars right now?

Seven;

I started working at Jaehee and MC’s coffee shop yesterday. Zen came over and visited me during my break, and we had dinner together. It was nice, I felt normal for once. 

I made your favorite hot chocolate before my shift ended and I left it by your grave. I hope you like it. It was warm outside tonight, and the crickets were chirping while I sat by your grave marker. You know, I wonder if you were looking up at the stars at the same time I was. I’d like to think you were. 

The stars are especially beautiful tonight, Saeyoung. They remind me so much of you. 

Yoosung 


End file.
